Joe Root Hoping To Turn WACA Table

December 14, 2017 by

Root Struggling to Keep Team On Straight and Narrow

You know you’re in trouble when you add more value to offbeat, mocking marketing opportunities than batting or bowling prowess.  This is the story so far for England, who will be returning to the WACA the laughing stock of the cricket world due to their on going drunk shenanigans throughout the entire Ashes Series.

The obscurity of it all has evolved to such an extent that bets are being wagered as to whether there will be vomiting on the field at the WACA as well as what the odds are that one or more English player will pitch up drunk.

Captain Joe Root has been hard at work to try and stave off the negative remarks and opinions concerning his men and their recent colourful behaviour.  And really, when you think about it, the only way for England to make their way back to English honour and valour is to win the Third Ashes Test at the WACA.

Winning may prove slightly more tricky than drinking.

Changing History One Drink At A Time

Joe Root seems determined that the time has come for England to turn the tables around at the WACA.  However, when considering that England has not won a Test match at the WACA since 1978, and then only as a result of having faced a considerably weakened Australian side due to desertion.

On the remaining twelve occasions that England have faced Australia here, they have not only lost, but have managed to do so quite smashingly.

The fact that the Ashes Tour follows the specific geographical path that it does, from Brisbane to Perth with a stop in Adelaide on the way, makes for quite a bit of bumping around and results in even less preparation time.

Daunting business, to say the least, even when you’re stone sober.

Root In The Business Of Losing Hair

England has done more than just lose points-wise on this tour.  Senior figures within the ECB have expressed the opinion that the English players are simply not concerned with how they are perceived by other players as well as the cricket world at large.

The situation in Camp Sauce has been taxing on Root.  This was evident even from his attempt at adding a light-hearted spin on the situation by quipping that he constantly wore his cap as a result of his fast receding hairline.

Captaining the drunk certainly appears to be no easy task.

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